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The following is from the beginning of a short story by the same title. Read “Author Bio” to learn more. **** I was recently doing a search in Google to find a website that would confirm my suspicions about a Tele-huckster—a pet peeve of mine to which I am hopelessly addicted. One thing led to another and, yada yada yada, before I knew it, my flat screen monitor began flashing a string of sexually explicit pictures in brilliant pulsating color. It was an X-rated pop-up extravaganza; one I was unable to keep up with. I clicked frantically trying to close one close-up invasion after another. The bombardment continued on until it ran its course, eventually reaching some kind of worldwide web adult abyss that even the internet could not crawl below. As I cleaned up the dirty debris I so innocently spilled—well maybe not that innocently—I was struck by my good fortune. Thankfully, the internet came along decades after my early teen years. Had this stuff been around in the Sixties, I might still be squirreled away in my attic room to this day, trimming the hair on my palms while mumbling incoherently to my seeing-eye dog. On the other hand, learning the whereabouts, general appearance and overall purpose of female parts would have been a heck of a lot easier, not to mention more timely. Instead, my sex education was really the collective result of a hit or miss operation. At the time it was torture, but I don’t know, there was something funny about it too. And it all started at my local summer recreation center, Carteret Park ... **** “What did Roy Rogers say to Dale Evans in the bedroom when the lights went out?” Mud Finnegan asked a rapt group of adolescent boys sitting around a long wooden table at our local summer hangout, Carteret Park. He was about twelve years old, a year older than I and several years older than most of the kids sitting on the benches—that was age-wise but he seemed a generation older than all us in every other way. Mud looked around, working the table like a seasoned Catskill comedian. No one dared answered his question because it really wasn’t a question at all. It was an obvious lead-in to the punch line of another classic dirty joke; besides, no one had a clue as to the possible answer—no one that is except Moon Muller. “I know!” Moon yelped in a lame attempt to impress the guys, as if he was really in the know. “Shut up! You don’t know crap!” Fitzy snapped back, warning that one of his patented headlocks might be coming Moon’s way if he didn’t keep his big trap shut. “Do too!” Moon fired back in a surprising show of bravado. “Are you two f’in jerk-offs through?” Mud, as only Mud could do, used the “F” word with a certain artistic flair. He painted masterpieces with four letter words no differently than Monet did with colors from a pallet. Having regained the attention of his fickle audience, he continued to close the deal. “Do you f'in dick heads wanna hear the f’in joke or doncha?” His eyes got wide and kind of crazy looking, one eyebrow climbing higher than the other. Of course, we wanted to hear. Everyone settled down. He waited a moment, knowing timing was everything; then, delivered the goods. “I’ll turn on my flashlight if you turn on your headlights.” A flash of universal vacant thought swept across the sea of open jawed faces, like the eerie stillness before a tornado strikes, as our feeble brains scrambled to “get it”. Then, as if prompted by an audience monitor, an explosion of rip-roaring, doubled-over laughter swept around the table. Ah … Mud sure could bring it home. Making it all the more incredulous was that most of us struggled to understand the punch-line. But we knew enough to laugh because that always bought us time to figure it out. Mud proudly acknowledged his success with a wide grin, while he waited for us to wipe the tears from our eyes, boogers from our noses and drool from our chins. He was on top of his game. Being the veteran performer he was, he launched into an encore with another doozey about some lost traveler asking some guy who is with a woman how far is “The Old Log Inn”; you can guess the answer. Another eruption of roaring, clueless laughter followed. Another tidbit of carnal information revealed. That was my introductory class to sex education in the Sixties. We weren’t taught concepts like “private parts”, and never heard of or cared much for formal words like “penis” or “breast” or “vagina”. Our language was narrow and practical; “logs” or “rods” and “headlights” or “cams” were all we knew or needed know to communicate with each other. Regarding “vagina”, only a few guys with older sisters had even the slightest notion of what that might be; most of us were under the delusion that girls had simply broken their logs off at birth; possibly by accident or through carelessness. So all we had were Mud’s dirty jokes, and embellished stories of older sisters spied on or caught in some state of undress. It was all a forewarning of things to come. I mean we understood the direct symbolism of certain words to body parts and innately found the sophomoric humor in using such imagery in the context of a joke. But underneath it all we started to sense that there was more to this than met the eye, something sinister. As we’d soon come to discover, there sure was! penis enlargement pills product natural penis enlargement does pnis enlargement work penis enlagement secret pnis enlargement excersizes plastic surgery penis enargement penis elargement device penile enlargment operation

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Your grandma just left you an oil painting and you need a few copies; one for appraisal purposes and two for your siblings who would love to have a copy, too. A trip to the professional photographer involves a set up fee, print cost, and a negative that is unavailable for sale. The painting is too big for a flat bed scanner so digital copies are not feasible. One solution is to copy it yourself. A good 35mm SLR camera with a normal lens will probably focus to two and one half feet. Even better is a six or eight megapixel DSLR or EVF camera. Use an ISO setting of 100 or slower. Critical is the correct use of lighting. Allowing the surface texture to show in your copies prevents displaying the true color and values of the picture. Ideally, two identical incandescent lamps in reflectors angled at forty-five degrees will minimize surface reflections. Place the painting vertically and line up the camera on a tripod exactly perpendicular to the painting. An alternative is to use the sun at a forty to fifty degree angle. Any other unbalanced source (single) is to be avoided. Fill the view finder to about 80% of the viewfinder and check to see that all edges are parallel. The circle of light cast by the lamps determines the distance from the lights to the picture. Make sure all of the painting surface is evenly lit. Use an 80B filter with outdoor film or set your digital white balance at incandescent. A filter is not needed if electronic flash is the source of light. Electronic flash must be metered with a flash meter or calculated using the guide on the back of the flash. Equalize the distance from each flash to the center of the painting and aim the center of the cone of light at the furthest edge of the painting. Bracket your exposure one stop over and under the recommended F stop. F8 or F11 are the sharpest F stops. The resulting proofs are NOT a good guide to choosing the negative with the best quality. If a digital camera was used then print a small test picture before making the enlargement. When viewed over a well lit white surface, it is not too difficult to choose the negative with the best color and contrast. A slight increase in contrast is generally considered a plus. When done properly, it is difficult for the average person to tell the difference between the copy and the original when viewed from a normal distance. penile enlargment product do penis enargement pills really work vimax best enlargement exercise penis penis enlargement herb penile enlargment doctor natural penis enlargment pills free penis enlagement exercise vimax penis enlargement pump penis enlargment forum

“What terrible times I had when I was the age of my kids? They don’t have to undergo the same despondent feelings my wife and me had to endure”, you lazily say to yourself as the hammock sways to and fro in the gentle breeze. You still dread the day you were diagnosed with erectile dysfunction. “Impotence won’t affect my kids”, you think reassuredly looking at the magic blue pill in your hand. Viagra has replaced the reliance on painful surgeries and therapies with the popping habit. Viagra was the first approved prescription pill for the treatment of ED. Erectile dysfunction is the sexual dysfunction of men characterized by the inability of penis to attain and maintain sufficient erection for satisfactory and enjoyable sex. For long, ED was considered as a potential relationship-breaker by the affected patients. Men and women were reporting emotional upheavals and other physical ailments directly to indirectly attributable to ED. The treatments available were not very popular owing to their invasive and painful nature. No oral drug was approved by the US FDA to treat ED till 1998 when Viagra came to the fore. Actually, the advent of Viagra in itself was nothing more than accidental. Sildenafil Citrate – the active ingredient of Viagra – had been in use for the treatment of angina for the past 20 years. The results for the treatment of angina were not very positive. But sildenafil citrate proved to be a boon for the sufferers of ED. 4 out of 5 patients showed promising signs in the clinical trials. And the rest is history. Viagra works within 14 minutes of its intake, in some cases. The effects of the drug last up to 4 hours in some cases. With minimal side effects, Viagra became overnight hit and has posted record sales since its launch. The patients, after a proper prescription from the doctor, can buy Viagra online. The privacy and convenience of the patients is generally well looked after by the sites dealing with Viagra online free penis enlargement easy enlagement free penis surgery way manual penis enhancement natural penis enlargment pnis enlargement tool penis enhancement surgeries penile enlargement forum vimax penis enlargement result penis enlargment forum

Impotence may have a physical, lifestyle, or psychological cause. An underlying medical condition is the most common cause of impotence. Such conditions may interfere with the blood supply to the penis, the generation of nerve impulses involved in getting and maintaining an erection. Some medical conditions that commonly cause impotence include diabetes, cardiovascular disease, atherosclerosis, or the hardening of the arteries, kidney disease, and diseases affecting the nervous system. Diabetes causes damage to both blood vessels and nerves. Cardiovascular and other vascular diseases reduce the flow of blood to the penis, and the veins that remove blood from the engorged penis may be leaky. Kidney disease may cause impotence through chemical changes that affect circulating hormones, blood supply, nerves and overall energy. Conditions that affect the brain or nerves, such as stroke, Alzheimer’s disease, or multiple sclerosis may all interfere with the flow of nerve impulses that are needed for an erection. Besides medical conditions, surgery that involves the bladder or prostate and pelvic and spinal cord injuries may affect nerves supplying the penis or involved in maintaining an erection. Certain hormonal imbalances such as low testosterone levels can also cause impotence and several types of prescription drugs can cause impotence as a side effect. Lifestyle factors implicated in impotence are lack of physical exercise, being overweight, and the use of alcohol, smoking and illegal drugs. Alcohol and tobacco cause damage to blood vessels and nerves. Lifestyle factors may exist alone or be accompanied by psychological factors such as depression. Psychological causes of impotence include stress, anxiety, depression, or guilt. Sometimes, people who have been physically or sexually abused may suffer from psychological impotence. Another cause of psychological impotence is confusion about one’s sexual identity. Often, someone with an underlying physical condition may also be depressed or anxious, adding to the combination of factors causing impotence. penis enlarement result free natural penile enlargment penile enlargement pills review best enlarement exercise penis do penile enlargement pills work vimax penis enlargement surgery photo penile enlargment supplement penis enlargement video penis enlargment forum

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