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There have been, perhaps, six critical conversations I’ve had that have shaped my professional consulting career. One of them was with an operations manager at a division of Federal Express.
I had just completed a successful, nationwide training program for the field sales force, so my credibility and confidence were soaring. Then, I heard a simple, but challenging question.
“We know how to measure sales productivity,” he said. “But is there something you can develop that will measure customer service productivity?”
Reflexively, I thought, “Why bother? Even if we can do it, reps will hate it.” But I held my tongue, sensing that this was a rare opportunity to revisit some of my assumptions.
My gut reaction was informed by years of doing seminars across the country in which I brought together sales and service people into the same sessions. Evaluations told me that they felt they were adversaries with mutually exclusive value systems.
Sales types tend to see themselves as swashbucklers, rogues, high-wire types, who crave adventure and embrace risks. They thrive on contingent pay, on the prospect of receiving hefty commissions and bonuses when they make big sales.
Service folks tend to be more risk averse. Often, they have a clerical mentality, which commends accuracy while penalizing mistakes. I sensed, to my core, that if we suggested to them that their pay should be even partly variable, based on achievement, they’d rebel.
This was more than supposition on my part. I had introduced cross-selling programs for years into service departments, experience that informed my best-selling book, Selling Skills For The Non-Salesperson. I found I could design a great sales program for service people, yet many would balk, even after they had achieved success and financial rewards through it.
They explained to me, in a very straightforward way, that they simply didn’t want to be salespeople, and that was that. Noting resistance from the rank and file, senior management, in those days, refused to push for implementation, despite the fact that big profits were being left on the table.
What, if anything, has changed since I was asked this question?
Four crucial things:
(1) We know much more about measuring customer service achievement.
(2) Job enlargement, downsizing, CRM, and the rise of professionalism in companies have all contributed to an expectation of broadened CSR responsibilities and heightened performance.
(3) Global competition, especially from knowledge workers in countries such as India, China, and elsewhere, is beginning to exert pressure on domestic workers to find ways to increase their contributions, if only to keep jobs onshore.
(4) Management is more cost and profit conscious than ever before.
Customer Service Achievement
If there have been three unwritten commandments in the past for being a capable CSR they have boiled down to: (1) Sound nice; (2) Defuse angry customers; and (3) Don’t make mistakes entering or retrieving data or reciting company policies.
Now, associates are being discouraged from focusing primarily on themselves, on customer service, or the motions they go through as they work. They’re being required to focus on outcomes: on customer satisfaction and on customer loyalty.
They’re being shown, through new training and unobtrusive, real-time performance measures, how to evaluate the impacts they’re having on transactional satisfaction and a customer’s decision to buy again from their organizations.
To borrow a phrase from Peter F. Drucker, suddenly the customer handling process is being managed for results.
If we can objectively monitor, measure, manage, and systematically replicate customer results, there’s no reason to deny better pay to the people that can produce them.
Future articles will explore some of the other crucial changes that have occurred, as well as discuss the pragmatics of introducing a pay-for-performance plan into the customer service context.
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And the males are the very sensitive ones when it comes to this subject matter. Society dictates that they should be macho and must possess sexual prowess.
But there is such a thing as Erectile dysfunction or ED. It is a condition in which a man in unable to get or maintain his penis erect sufficiently for sexual activity. This condition affects millions of men worldwide.
There are many causes of ED and experts have blamed diabetes, heart disorders, and high blood pressure. For the psychological factors, there’s depression, anxiety, and fear. Medications may also cause ED like sleeping pills, anti-depressants, and blood pressure-lowering drugs. Harmful substances can also be the culprit like cigarette and alcohol.
Drugs have been formulated to combat ED and we are know familiar with names like Viagra, Cialis and Levitra. Of course, there’s also the many contraptions used to achieve an erection like vacuum pumps and penile suppositories. Some men would opt for surgery and hormone therapy.
Ancient medicinal knowledge though has revealed to us that there are herbal plants used in boosting sexual performance and they are the following:
Gingko Bilboa
Gingko Bilboa is an extract from an ancient tree species native to China. It is widely used to enhance memory and other mental abilities because it can reportedly increase blood flow and oxygen to the brain. Its beneficial effect on blood circulation is said to extend to the penis, thus helping those with erection problems.
Ginseng
Used in traditional Oriental medicine for centuries, this very famous root is believed to increase vitality and improve overall well-being. These effects alone, according to researchers, are usually enough to make someone become more active sexually. Other researchers say that ginseng also helps relax the artery walls, resulting in increased blood flow to all parts of the body including the sexual organs.
Yohimbe
The bark of this tree has long been used as an aphrodisiac in Africa and as a treatment for impotence in Europe. A purified extract called yohimbine, has even gained US FDA approval as a treatment for men with ED before Viagra became available. Just like with PDE5 drugs, yohimbine works by increasing blood flow to the penis, and it may have an effect as well on brain chemistry.
Horny Goat Weed
Also known simply as epimedium, this herb with a very catchy and suggestive name is popularly used in China for its various sex-enhancing effects. It reportedly increases sperm production, and it also raises the level of the male sex hormone testosterone, which is directly linked to sex drive.
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I read the other day that the majority of American’s regularly have sex in just a few positions. Well, if that’s true, its time to shake things up! This article is on g spot positions. These are our favorite ways of hitting the g-spot during sex.
If you like boring, normal sex, that lasts just 5 – 10 minutes, don’t read this page. If you’re feeling more adventurous, and are ready to blow your mind then please, proceed!
So, the first step in hitting your g spot during sex is to know where it is! For the purposes of this article, we're going to assume you know what the g spot is, how to regularly find it, and how your partner likes it stimulated.
Now that that’s all taken care of – lets focus on g spot positions. The first step is to recognize that the g spot, or g spot area, is small and not always in the same place. So, throughout your sex you’ll both need to be communicating. What works, what feels good, what doesn’t, a little to the right, a little to the left, etc.
In the beginning, as you explore different g spot positions, its likely best if you agree not to have orgasms. We’ve found this makes it easy to have a sense of exploration and play.
And, without further delay, here are our three favorite g spot positions. Enjoy!
Ride ‘Em Cowboy (Woman on Top)
I have to say there’s something so sexy about a woman being on top, in charge of finding what feels the best. Really, this position is ideal because it allows the woman to control the depth, intensity, and speed. It gives you the ability to play, and explore, and notice how much more pleasure comes from subtle differences.
As you are on top, experiment with what feel’s best to you. Move, shift, tell your partner what feel’s good, rock back and forth, take it deep, keep it shallow, etc. This will likely work best if you are already aroused and hot. (This is true with all these g spot positions)
Now, as the guy in this position, you’re not just laying back passively (thought that is fine to do – just not now!). What will help your partner most is if you tilt your pelvis as much as possible. The more you can do this, the better.
You’ll also get a great workout! : )
Unfortunately, if you are anything like me, you’ll get super tired super quick. In the beginning we used to use alot of pillows to try to angle my hips. Lately, we’ve really been enjoying something called the wedge, its a liberator shape. This small shape puts your pelvis in the perfect tilted position without you having to do any work.
I know it sounds crazy, but the small, subtle positioning this enables, makes all the difference. If you want to find out more about liberator shapes, their website is www.liberatorshapes.com.
Doggy Style (Crouching, Man Coming from Behind)
This is one of our favorite g spot positions. Not only do you have great g-spot access, but there’s just something so primal andsexy about *&#*! from behind.
Now, guys, in this position you can take it easy and let her do all the work. In this case, ladies, use your thighs to press back and find the depth, thrust style, and position that works best for you.
However, guys, if you want to be more active, you can easily adapt this position. Push your woman down, and lay more on top of her (still coming in from behind)
Now, for the best g spot stimulation, position your legs outside of hers and put more of your weight forward, so you are riding her from up higher.
This puts your penis on more of a downward angle, and helps you hit her g-spot more directly. You can also experiment with having her legs more open, or more closed to see what feels best.
We've also been using the liberator shape - the wedge - in this position too. We found if we put that underneath my girlfriend, it gives her hips a particular tilt that totally amp things up.
Your Highness (Man Kneeling or Standing, Woman's Legs on His Shoulders)
We love this sex position. With many g spot positions you can’t look each other in the eyes. With this one, we recommend it. Also, when you want to hit the g spot, having your legs high and wide is the secret ingredient. Sometimes putting your feet on your partner’s shoulders can be the most comfortable (its also just super sexy!)
Now, you can do this position in lots of ways. You can do it off your sofa, a chair, or your coffee table (we won’t tell!). Or, you can modify it to work off your bed by kneeling vs standing. The only real key to this position is that your partner is angled upward, with her legs spread wide or on your shoulders. You can achieve this combination in lots of different ways (be creative!)
Well, these are our three favorite g spot positions, and I hope you try them out and enjoy!
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I highly recommend products such as, these have some of the best affiliate programs:
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Clickbank has over 10, 000 products that you can promote and as it is all digital, you get paid quicker.
If you would prefer to venture into a market that concerns real life products, I recommend that you try out Commission Junction as this affiliate network is the biggest and best for real products, such as pc hardware, clothing and other items.
Amazon is a good company to look into, they pay quite low commissions but they are extremely high in conversions. This means that they pay you a smaller commission per sale but out of say, every 100 visitors to their site, 20 or more will buy, the average is 1 will buy, so that is an advantage. They are also very reliable.
There are literally thousands, possibly millions of affiliate programs going on underneath the scenes, you don’t notice many of them when links are hidden and you cant see the secret ID in the link. Some huge companies don’t run affiliate programs, one prime example is the women’s underwear store/label Victoria’s Secret. Their site is extremely popular so they probably don’t need them, but even still, they could make a lot more if they had affiliates. However, there are plenty of other programs to try out. Good luck with the affiliate programs.
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Women's capacity for orgasm is awesome. They can come over and over again, and still be ready for more! This capacity seems almost limitless. They can experience clitoral orgasms, g-spot orgasms, vaginal orgasms, ejaculatory orgasms, blended orgasms, and not only one but multiples of any of these! They've even been blessed with a body part, the clitoris, whose only purpose is sexual pleasure. This may all seem a bit unfair to men who typically reach a precipice, fall over the edge, roll over and go to sleep!
Why is it then that so many women are frustrated rather than satisfied? Why is it that for so many loving couples, the female orgasm remains an elusive dream; one in which she's perhaps become resigned to sex that's pleasurable but not truly satisfying, or even worse, faking it to salvage her partner's ego. If it is really bad perhaps she fakes orgasm just to get the sexual ordeal over with! Or he sadly wonders: What's wrong with me? Why can't I make her come despite stiff fingers and aching tongue? His sexual self-esteem is wounded, and he secretly feels less of a man believing he has failed her.
The first step on the path to freeing a woman's orgasm is for both men and women to understand that men do not give women orgasms. Women allow themselves to have orgasms. Despite popular belief, no matter how good a lover you may be, unless your partner can give herself up to the pleasures of her body, she won't have orgasms. This realization alone can open the door to women becoming orgasmic. It takes the pressure to "perform" off of men, and it frees women to take responsibility for their own sexual fulfillment.
This is very important. If your woman is blaming you, and you may also be blaming yourself for her not having orgasms, it is quite possible, even likely, that you are both looking in the wrong place to solve the problem. Mind you, an unskilled, selfish, or insensitive male lover can be a real problem, and at the very least is certainly a dull bore. And to say that a woman is responsible for her own sexual fulfillment does not mean you revert to a slam-bam-thank-you-ma'am approach to sex and let her fend for herself. After all, the more skilled and attentive a lover is the more pleasure he himself receives, and although you can't give her an orgasm you certainly can help her to have one, or even lots of them. So even though it's not entirely up to you, there is something you can do to help.
The biggest barrier to orgasm for women is mental distraction - thoughts that float into her mind, catching her in her head, and taking her away from what's going on in her body. As soon as she starts thinking, she is out of the moment and will lose touch with her senses and her pleasure. Some of these thoughts may trigger feelings of shame or guilt about experiencing sexual pleasure, for no matter how liberated our attitudes toward sex seem to have become, there yet exists the perception that "good" girls don't! Even today women are divided into categories of "virgin" or "whore". Those who engage lustily in the delights of the body are somehow morally questionable. You can help your delectable partner move beyond these pleasure stifling attitudes by letting her know how much you respect, admire and cherish her fully female sensual self. Tell her often, especially when you're making love, that it thoroughly turns you on to see her let loose the passionate side of her nature.
This is not always easy for men to do. They may have internalized an unconscious conditioning that leads them to accept the rather misogynist belief that women can't be good and pure, and also be fantastic lovers. If they believe this, they are placing themselves in a very unfortunate situation. This belief system inevitably leads to the man selecting one woman for a partner, spouse and mother, and a different partner for an affair or mistress. Adultery is about the only option left to a man who holds such a belief system. The resulting deceit and lying force a separation between the couple and the relationship ends soon enough, for example in breaking up or divorce. In this scenario, the man is at fault and the solution does lie with him. Only a change in his beliefs will solve this problem.
Sexual abuse is a horror and curse that is unbelievably common in our society. Women that have been sexually abused often have great difficulty in allowing themselves to trust their lover, let go into the sensual moment, and surrender to sexual ecstasy. If your lady is having difficulty experiencing orgasm; if you are a reasonably skilled lover; and if you have communicated to her that you honestly wish her to fully awaken as a sexual partner, then the problem could be some psychological damage from sexual abuse. Ask her about this with the greatest tenderness and caring that you are capable of. Be aware that many women actually blame themselves for their own sexual abuse, so this can be the touchiest of all possible subjects for discussion. If sexual abuse is an issue, it is advisable to encourage her to seek professional counseling or some other form of help.
Besides worrying about whether they are "bad" if they really enjoy and want sex "a lot", many women worry about enjoying sex the right way. They worry about how they look, smell and taste. They worry that the cellulite in their upper thighs or the slight bulge of tummy fat may quiver unattractively. They worry about being "clean down there". They worry about how long it takes to reach climax, how much time their man has to spend stroking, licking, and caressing to help them fly over the mountain. All of these thoughts take them out of lovemaking. To help her stay in the pleasures of her body tell her with words and sounds and looks that you adore her, you love to devour her with your tongue, you could keep on touching her forever, it's a delight to you to give her pleasure. And mean it, because if you haven't learned how to enjoy pleasuring your partner, pretty soon you won't have one!
Once she's able to relax into the joys of lovemaking and focus on the exquisite sensations her body can feel rather than listening to the demon distractors her mind can conjure up, a woman's path to orgasm is much clearer. With particular loving skills of your own you can assist her to break that path wide open.
Most men enjoy having their genitals touched at any time, whether they're sexually aroused or not. This isn't usually the case with women. Think of the vagina as a "potential" opening, a magical door that will happily open wide to receive you, but only after you've called ahead to ensure your welcome. Be certain she's eager for your genital explorations by focusing loving attention on other parts of her body first - lots of kissing, neck nuzzling, tender strokes on back, shoulders and arms, then adoring caresses of her breasts. Only after you sense she's ready, through signs like rapid breathing, flushed skin, hardened nipples or enticing moans should you move to her vagina. Once your hand or mouth is at her sweet honey pot begin to explore it from the outside inward - outer lips, clitoris, inner lips, vaginal canal.
Generally women reach orgasm most easily through clitoral stimulation. The clitoris is extremely sensitive to touch of all kinds. Often the head of the clitoris, the pointed tip, is too sensitive for much direct pressure, so focus your attention on the sides. Touch around the clitoris instead of right on it, at least until her level of excitement increases. The skin tissue of your fingers is not nearly as sensitive as the tissue around her clitoris. But the tissue of your mouth and tongue is an almost perfect match in sensitivity. Unless you are more highly skilled in using your fingers, it is a much safer way to start by using your mouth for oral stimulation of the clitoris. Experiment with different pressures, strokes and speeds. Ask her which ones she likes best. A good way to do this is to try two different touches, then ask her if she likes "a" or "b" better.
If she's willing, invite her to masturbate for you so you can learn exactly how she likes to be touched. Many women are shy to do this at first but with some gentle encouragement she may really show her wanton self. It can be a great turn-on for both of you. Many men are actually quite frightened by a woman who is fully sexually awakened. They may doubt their own ability as a man to keep up, or to be able to perform adequately. They may fear that if she is too much woman sexually for him, that she may go elsewhere and find what she wants. It may help you to overcome this fear if you remember that you are not responsible for giving your lady sexual satisfaction. She must do that for herself. But if this fear is very strong, you may seek counseling help to deal with it.
When you do find a particular stroke or caress that is really driving her wild, keep doing it and keep doing it and keep doing it. Don't change anything about it. Don't go faster, slower, softer, harder, or switch direction. Keep doing exactly the same thing until she lets you know she wants a change either through words or body movement. This holds true whether you're pleasuring her clitorally or vaginally with your fingers or your mouth. Keep going even if your hands or mouth get really tired!
It's a good idea to wait until she is very aroused before entering her vagina either with your fingers or your penis. Generally if she's not wet, she's not ready. It's as simple as that. If your lover doesn't have a lot of natural vaginal juices even when she is fully aroused be sure to use a good silicone or water-based lubricant. Nothing can be a quicker turn-off than rough, dry skin rubbing on soft vaginal tissues. Water-based or silicone lubricant is better because oil can clog the sensitive vaginal tissue.
The most sensitive part of a woman's vaginal canal is the first inch to two inches. It's here that most of the nerve endings are located, so when you first enter her concentrate most of your attention there. The elusive g-spot can usually be found in this general area, on the top of the vaginal wall, a couple of inches in. Imagine a glass lying on the floor. If you reach your first two fingers into the glass at the top, i.e., toward the ceiling rather than the bottom towards the floor, you should find it. It is difficult to reach the g-spot through intercourse, so you will find it much easier with you fingers than with your penis. There are also some interesting dildos and vibrators with just the right shape to reach the G-spot. Move your index finger or your first two fingers in a "come hither" motion (as if you were asking someone from across the room to come over to where you are) and gently stroke her. When you touch her g-spot you may notice a more bumpy or raised area of skin, but you may not. The best way to know you've found this highly intense love spot is by her reaction. Where you look is not quite as important as when you look. Unless she is excited through and through, perhaps from a clitoral orgasm beforehand, it can be difficult to find the g-spot.
Stimulation of the g-spot can produce extraordinarily intense orgasms. As a woman is approaching a g-spot orgasm she may feel she has to urinate. This may immediately cause her to tighten up, stop, and pull back from the edge of bliss. If she can stay relaxed and keep going through that "have-to-pee" sensation it will pass and move on into deep waves of sexual delight. The woman should urinate before intercourse begins, so she can be more confident that the feeling that she has to urinate is a misleading feeling and can be safely ignored.
For most women it is difficult to reach a climax through intercourse alone. This is because the sensitive clitoris isn't easily stimulated just by thrusting motions; the g-spot is difficult to reach with even a fully erect penis; and because often the male partner goes over the edge into ejaculatory orgasm before the woman has had enough action to bring her to the heights. If you touch her clitoris before and during intercourse, and if you've pleasured her vaginally by touching the g-spot with your fingers, the chances are much better that she will have a deep vaginal orgasm while your penis is inside her.
Learn the strokes that turn her on. Tell her how fabulous it is that she's sensual and sexual. Let her know you adore her body and love to touch and kiss it for hours. Help her forget about trying to make orgasm happen and focus instead on thoroughly enjoying every moment of lovemaking. If you awaken your multi-orgasmic woman you are going to like it!
