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It used to be so easy. All you needed was a thick mane of tousled auburn locks, high cheekbones and a determined little chin; add an ounce of determination and an event from your past that haunts you still. Then, wham! You were the perfect fictional heroine. But now it’s not so simple. With television shows like Grey’s Anatomy and Ally McBeal, books like Bridget Jones’s Diary and Good in Bed, and movies like Miss Congeniality and Legally Blonde, we’re getting all sorts of mixed messages over how the ideal woman is supposed to be. What’s a modern girl who wants to hold herself up to impossible standards to do? Simple! Just follow these guidelines, and you’ll be as witty, complex and neurotic as the rest of them. In other words – you will be the perfect, modern-day fictional heroine. Step 1 – Be Flawed This step is super easy, because come on, we’re all already flawed anyway, right? Right! Except for one little catch. It is necessary to adopt the correct flaws, and these three are non-negotiable. 1.) You must be self-involved. This includes comparing your own petty personal problems to things like death, war, and injustice, and finding some sort of unique parallel no matter what the situation may be. It also includes having a constant inner dialogue with yourself where you point out these parallels with witty commentary. For example: “Even the news reminded me of him. Yesterday I saw this report that said routine circumcision in Africa could prevent 300,000 deaths in the next ten years. What a shocker! Chopping away at a guy’s penis could help eliminate pain, loss, and heart-ache. What will they think of next?” 2.) You must have issues with food. If you plan to be a television or movie heroine, this means that you cannot eat. Period. If you plan to be a book heroine, this means that you must eat all the time, except when you’re not eating, and then you should be thinking about eating. I strongly recommend the second option. 3.) You must become preoccupied with an unhealthy relationship. This includes but is not limited to, relationships with boyfriends, friends, mothers, fathers, roommates, and exes. Especially exes.(And make sure that your ex is dreamy, preferably with a new girlfriend who is in no way as good for him as you were.) Step 2 – Practice Retail Therapy Today’s modern day fictional heroine realizes one fundamental truth – that there is no problem too big or too small that cannot be remedied with shopping. Again, there is a catch; you need to be careful of what you go shopping for. Hard and fast rule – anything that’s practical or cheap is out. Other than that, I have provided you a list of approved shopping items, with the most highly recommended items on top, and continued in descending order: • Designer shoes • Designer beauty products • Designer chocolate • Designer purses • Designer lingerie • Anything else designer • Clothes (This is listed as the very last option because although clothes shopping can be a lot of fun, if you happen to have gone up a size, the blow to your ego will be so enormous that it will negate the therapeutic aspect of said retail therapy.) Step 3 – Have a purpose, deeply question it, then either accept it or abandon it to find a new purpose. Rather than go into unnecessary detail, I have created a handy-dandy chart. Just pick an option from each column and you’ll be good to go. 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My humble relationship advice for women at 40. Recently, I had the opportunity to play a round of golf with a female friend of mine and two of her female friends as well. After a great round of golf, we went back to her house where I proceeded to cook dinner for all of us. Because I was a friend, male and cooking dinner, the ladies seemed to feel very comfortable talking in front of me about their dating lives. Holy cow. What an eye opener that was. Let me first start by saying, I am not all that and a bag of chips -far from it actually. I have my hang ups and feel the normal insecurities most of us face on a daily basis. What I heard and experienced that fateful night at dinner almost made me run screaming from the house. As the night progressed and wine flowed, I began to see a side of this group of three women that had me questioning if I would ever date again. I have never heard a group of people bitch and gripe about so many people in my entire life. They looked like three Queens, sipping red wine and damning the rest of us who happen to be male to the guillotine. I felt like asking them if they saw any correlation between the fact they had such impossibly high standards for men and the fact they were all single themselves. Furthermore, it appeared this group of forty something women had never had a serious relationship, either past or present, where they seemed sincerely happy. I am not suggesting all women are like this. If however, you find you are approaching forty or on the North side of forty, single and without any prospects for any kind of date soon, you may want to consider the following advice. If you are looking for perfection from a man then you damn well better bring perfection to the table yourself. These three women were holding up impossibly high standards that no man could realistically attain. One woman in the group was obviously very good looking, had a good job, loved golf and seemed very bright. There was a litany of stories from her about failed relationships and unsuccessful dating experiences. Nice guy, cute, clean and neat, great job but drove a crappy car. Perhaps he didn’t see the value in wasting money on a sports car? Perhaps he valued saving some of his money for later in life? Great guy, great job and great everything else but had a weird haircut and ear hair. Awesome guy, sincere, respectful, bright, witty and charming but was not well enough endowed. I’m not suggesting women settle for any reason. None of us should do that. I am saying that we all need to set realistic expectations of what we are looking for in a date. What would happen if the great guy with the crappy car were given a chance to explain himself? What would happen if Mr. Awesome with the small penis had a good friend who could make livestock weep and cry? If they had given any of these guys half a chance, they may have found their potential dating circle may have expanded nicely. I have no trouble getting dates. It’s not because I am the best looking guy, with a great body, a million dollar bank account, a fantastic car and I could stand in for Ron Jeremy. I get dates because I realize I am far from perfect but I am a sincerely nice person. My expectations for myself are realistic and more importantly, I set realistic expectations for my dates. We have all heard women pine for the good guys in a relationship, wondering where they are. How come there are no good guys left they seem to constantly complain. There are nice guys out there. They do exist! Ladies, you need to give some of us a chance. Dating is a lot like poker; you have to know how to play the cards you have been dealt. You can only bluff for so long. If these women continue to play their hands the way they have been going, it is only a matter of time before someone calls their hand. free natural penile enlargment best penis enlarement free pnis enlargement technique penis enargement surgeries penile enlargment surgery cost penile enlargment supplement herbal penis enlargment pills penis enlagement pill magna rx vimax forum
I just don't go into the reasons for circumcision, which change with every decade depending on whatever disease is in the spotlight. In the 1880s, circumcision was recommended to prevent insanity and epilepsy, in the 1940s it was recommended to prevent STIs, the 1950s it was a cure for cancer and in the early 21st century, HIV is spread in the moist regions of the foreskin as opposed to the dry, keratinised layer of the glans. In my opinion, circumcision violates a major principle of medical practice: First, do no harm. It also violates all seven principles of medical ethics. Some doctors and nurses refuse to perform or assist with circumcisions because of ethical considerations To make it clear I have no problem with circumcision as long as the person gives their full consent and is informed, as they are supposed to be with all procedures. The fact is when circumcision is performed, it does not treat any disease, injury, or other health problem. Since there is no urgency to do it, it must be delayed until the child is old enough to make the decision for himself. Therefore, a male may make a decision to be circumcised when he is older without losing the benefit of having foreskin. The foreskin is an integral, normal part of the penis. It contains about 240ft of nerves, and around 1000 nerve endings. This fact explains why anesthetics provide incomplete pain relief during circumcision. Without the coverage of a foreskin, the glans penis dries out and becomes keratinised (i.e. dry, thick, insensitive - think what would happen to the moisture surrounding the eyeball if the eyelid was removed) and takes on the function of the outer foreskin - protection from dirt, chafing and otherwise outside threats. Without the foreskin, around 80% of the penis' erogenous zones are lost, keratinisaton occurs (as I mentioned above) and the gliding action of the foreskin over the erect glans is lost, not to mention any risks associated with such surgery, including the formation of 'skin bridges' where the foreskin reattaches itself to the glans, skin 'tags' where the foreskin was incompletely cut away, scarring and excess skin removal. In a national survey, circumcised men reported they were more likely to engage in masturbation, heterosexual oral sex, and anal sex than intact men. The result suggests that circumcised men seek alternative forms of stimulation to compensate for reduced sensitivity. The complex anatomy and function of the foreskin dictate that circumcision should be avoided or deferred until the person can make an informed decision as an adult.